Our lives forever changed on Tuesday, February 5, 2013. That is the day, forever engrained, with the ultrasound technician saying, “I am sorry. There is no heartbeat.” My legs shake and my heart and stomach drop just thinking about it. There was a whirlwind of decisions that had to be made, quickly. I was still back at the shock of it all, “Wait, there's no heartbeat. Are you sure?” But, we had to proceed forward. We have been very blessed with healthy pregnancies up to this point. No complications with baby or me. To this day no reason is to be found with our baby. Though, if given, it would never truly answer the “why”. With all of the unknowns, there was one thing I knew for sure in that moment. That our sweet baby was with God in Heaven. And was and is filled with and knows an incredible love that we can only imagine. Our faith was, and has been our rock. I did not know what was to come in the days ahead. I did know that the following day, I a) wanted to go to church and pray, and b) meet with our priest. That felt good to know something, at a time when nothing made sense.
Friday, February 8, 2013, at 11:50pm, our sweet Emily Anne arrived, silently. Without a cry, or a glimpse of this world as we know it. As sad and hard of a time it was, it was amazing. Seeing her body, her nostrils, arms, her fingers, were so delicate and beautiful. I just wanted to take it all in, and remember forever. I started to write and continue my pregnancy journal, writing down all of the details of her body. We spent as much time as we could, just being with her. Loving her. Crying with her. Remembering her. Always.
We buried our sweet Emily, the following Friday, February 15, 2013. This was our first funeral we had ever planned, never thinking that our first one, would be our child's. Just as there were many decisions to be made the week before, there were many decisions to be made with our baby's ceremony. It was and always will be, a special day, and we wanted to put our whole heart and soul into the day. What color should we wear? Not all black. Let's do green. We are Irish. Life, rebirth. Spring is on its way. What flowers should we have? We found our wedding florist by chance, and she was able to incorporate my bridal bouquet flowers into our daughter's funeral flowers. We had a balloon release with white balloons that Emily's brothers, Matthew and Ryan, loved. Their smiles were priceless as they sent the balloons (their kisses) up to Heaven to their sister, Emily. And the difficult days that followed, as we had our sweet Emily laid to rest – Where do we go from here? Support groups. Ways to remember Emily. Always.
We started our non-profit, emily’s gift of hope, in memory, honor, and love of our sweet Emily. There was support for us during our difficult days. But, we also felt there could always be more. Hence, the birth of our non-profit, emily’s gift of hope. Emily is, was, and will always be a gift to us. Our hope is that Emily's life and death will bring you hope in the darkness. We wanted hope in that moment, when we learned that she died. Hope for today. And we wanted hope in the days to come. Hope for tomorrow. We hope that we can bring you hope in your moments and days.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love and God bless,
Anne and Chris Morrison